TNT
by John Stewart, Summer 2012

We lie down in the shadows of oaks
Stretch in the sun’s
Cool fingerprints
And imagine, if only for a moment
Fleeting as bird on branch
That we’re immortal –
The honored know better

To erase cancer
Is like a parent trying
To take back their child’s name
Impossible without time travel
Or some dark miracle
We can’t wish on the sick
Who are we to unmake what’s always been?
If we shook loose the sky
Would not something darker still remain?
We say no, only sound –
Our pounding feet
The force of will of thousands

Now on the eve of it all
We lay restless, dreaming
Under our tired eyes
We wonder where we’ll fail
Gather ourselves as if we might die
And wake inside the thick
Breath of our race

Beside the salt water we bleed
Already glistening, rising, and black
That trigger has pulled a thousand times
The world goes quiet and roars back
Echoes of teams before
And times when arsenic was new
Around hot corner and the climb
out of the basin: winded,
candy-colored, tricked-out, barreling
Flowing in and spilling out
Footfall upon footfall
Falling softly, softly –
Calling across the great lawns
Calling upon doubts, eons
Dawn after marvelous dawn

Whoever we are on this day
The honored have dissolved into us
Like ink in skin
And like silt into a great river
Cancer’s own weight betrays it
And this warm morning we forget
If only for a moment,
Its name

Notes:
“the honored” – they’re the survivors of blood related cancers who inspire us, and train with us for races
“arsenic” – a very old cancer treatment, believe it or not
“hot corner” – the sharp turn on the bike course that takes you off the river path, up a steep climb, to the highway